Still Alive

Hm.

Well.

Hello.

I am alive. I hope you're doing the best you can during this … interesting historical time period in which we are forced to live through.

I know I haven't written anything in this blog for some time. I also haven't published anything in several years. During that time I've been going through a lot of health stuff, both physically and mentally. Disability and chronic illness can happen to anyone at any time. It changes everything. Each person's path is different and you can't rush the process.

I haven't been able to write in a long time. That is one of the things I am working on, trying to find a way to share my stories within my ability level, but I haven't figured that out yet. Many times the activities of daily life takes everything I have. I am unable to work at a job anymore. Writing has felt like an unattainable dream for a long time. For months I have struggled with hopelessness, with feeling like I should pull my books off the internet, shut down this website, and give up on everything I ever wanted. It would certainly be cheaper, since I am nobody with nothing. Zero money for editing, book cover design, promotion, advertising, and other costs of self publishing. No energy or ability to use social media. If I gave up maybe someday my mind would forget about my dreams like it forgot about everything else.

But I just can't do that. It doesn't matter if I never make any money (that wasn't why I started writing in the first place) or if nobody ever reads my books. I wanted to share my stories with the world, and giving up on that would mean giving up on my reason for being alive.

I am going to leave both “Cutoff” and “Escape” up on the e-book sites. At some point I hope to offer hard copies independent from Amazon. Someday I will upload a new edition with updated covers and information, but I will not change the text. The heart of the books will remain the same. I honor my past self who had the courage to share my creation. Leaving them up, while going against the advice I received from other authors online, is a promise to myself.

I am still working on “The Unbowed” series. This time has allowed the story to grow, deepen, and improve. Even if my body can't work my imagination runs wild. I have multiple books planned. Over time I will update this website and eventually I will finish the series. I don't know how I am going to do that when I am in constant pain and disability every day. I don't know how long that will take. This society we live in demands everything fast, right now, rush delivery, doesn't matter if the product is good as long as it's fast and consumable. I will not blow smoke up your ass and promise a time frame. I respect you, dear reader, far too much to do that. I will promise that I will finish “The Unbowed”series, and I will release it to the world. I hope you love it as much as I do. All of this is for you.

You are beautiful and loved. Go easy on yourself and find joy where you can. Joy and solidarity make fighting oppression possible. Read and learn because education is what they fear most. Keep fighting for a better world.

Happy Pride month 2026!